The influence of “place” upon our psyches is both subtle and profound. Whether it is the serene beauty of a mountain in the morning, sunrise on an expanse of prairie, or the energizing pulse of a city at night, the impact of place upon our mind, body and spirit is enormous. Often it is
a context we take for granted—until we relocate!
Regardless of what gets us there, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are un- deniably affected, at least for a while and sometimes forever.
There is a bittersweet sentiment--the combination of grieving or loss combined with the spice of excitement and anxiety. Theremayberesentmentmixedwith fear and curiosity. We can be inexplicably comfortable despite the newness. Whatever the mixture, the “self” is bound to shift and morph into a version of ourselves we can perceive as an opportunity for growth.
Relocating always carries a physical component—the overwhelm of the huge job of sorting, choosing and the logistics of letting go—the disposition of all “things” and “stuff” that life accumulates and are part of our identity. Clothing, furniture and artwork are the big things, as are intellectual properties, yours and others’ books and media. Ironically, the fate of the smaller items is often more difficult than decisions around the larger items. “As I was emptying my New York home on my way to the southwest, I recall having a small bowl of tiny pieces of jewelry. I was absorbed in minutiae that defied categorization. Eachpieceseemedso important in that moment while all around me friends and moving men lifted large chunks
of my entire past into a dumpster or onto the moving truck.” (Dr. A’s recollection.)
How we prepare and negotiate this colossal task can build or diminish the psychological energy we have for the biggest challenge of all -- disassembling and rebuilding our identity. One of Dr. A’s clients, while on vacation, had the support and wherewithal to have her possessions moved across an entire continent with never a backward glance. Katy was running from a life and situation that felt unsustainable and finding a new home, in Vancouver, trusted her purely intuitive vision. Laurence lived his life in both Maryland and Montana before he gradually shifted the balance of time in each and became a full-time resident of “Big Sky Country.” Bliss became his favorite description of life in his new home. Adjustment was practically seamless. Others, however, have a shaky beginning, facing the unknown and the difficult feelings of being uprooted and lost. And yet, we can learn what to do to adjust!
What is your personal story of identification with place?
Reflection on this question is often revealed once you have changed your life, home, partner and lifestyle. Sometimes we make a lateral move and all else remains the same as when we move to a similar town in the same state. But moving to a completely different country or part of a country tends to have a tail (and a tale) attached-- influencing our adjustment in both obvious and subtle ways. Leila moved so many times she tends to compare the occasions where the move was made with an ex-husband, or as a single Mom, with times she moved all alone or with a new lover!
Relocating requires us to modify many of our habits and the way we do things.
The weather outside in Tucson affects how early we take a morning run, walk the dog or garden. Here, most outdoor activities are best accomplished as early in the day as possible. Inside a new home changes from the moment, we begin to organize a new life, placing our possessions in a manner similar or different to what we’ve known before. We use our bodies in different ways as we negotiate our new space. What we used to reach upwards for may now require us to squat. We cope with the frustration of small storage space coupled with the relief of having less clothing. Where we might have risen later or earlier, new rhythms affect our sleep cycles and so affect our moods and mental clarity.
We may have the freedom of working differently and the anxiety of less income at least for a while—until we become better known. Or we may have the task of finding a whole new workplace at the same time we are coping with overall disorientation or loneliness. Imagine Jared’s immense challenge when he, no longer able to afford his large Boston apartment after the dissolution of his industry, was forced to relocate to a part of Florida where he had family and shelter but needed a new job and was unable to bring his beloved golden retriever.
There is the issue of change within our family or support system. How do we even begin to achieve a level of social and emotional comfort when our friendships become tied to technology while the sea of strangers beckons us (activates our curiosity) or causes us to feel shy or even withdrawn for a while? Towhomandhowdowe reach out in a new environment? Do others reach out to us?
Tell us how you re-established your support systems upon your relocation! What did you discover about yourself
that you might have taken for granted before you relocated?
The good news is that we each have stories that carry richness and wisdom --providing inspiration and courage for those who are on the move!
Now we’d like to hear from you!
Please send your thoughts and suggestions about relocation to boomtalkmedia.com/contact.
